I Confess! Columnist Grear Moves from “Pleasingly Plump and Thick” to a Healing Hiatus
How to take a healing hiatus… Our astrological wonder woman GREAR SHINES in this post. As usual, I’ve left in all of the wonderful grammatically magical Grear-isms so that you can catch the full meaning of her unique way of communicating. We are grateful for her honesty and her service. xoxo
‘Love & Healing’ from Grear Yaddie Turnbull
As 2013 neared its end I could feel my ailments nearing theirs’. Yet, there’s still a lot of self-work to do. I am a dogged researcher, avid reader. This studious practice along with changing some eating habits (not to mention, exercise), should be the main catalyst to the main cure-all. Not only permanently changing my eating habits (for the better), but also changing my viewing habits, my hearing habits, et cetera. Right now, Mama mixes bad food with the good organic stuff. Mama mixes bad TV, bad Internet views with the sage & good stuff. Mama ‘ll listen to good edifying music & some blends of bad sounds, you know, lyrics that don’t foster thought. Well, then again..this is a thought: “What are we suppose to glean from this song?” Lol… If you respond “the beat,” cause it makes you move.
I can dig it. I rocked in tha “house music” era strong! Then still…let it be an instrumental groove, if the main intent is to drive a dope beat. But I digress. Sigh…lol. Mama just knows she needs to stop to start. Staring at the “..art” in the word “start,” the word “smart” too, for that matter. Yes, etymology is one of the new highs for your truly. 🙂
In all I do, it gotta be artful, or hell, my all won’t be in it. This includes healing. Ma G has been overweight most of her adult life, even during the teen years I was described as “Pleasingly Plump” & “Thick” by a couple of boyfriend prospects. As a child I was as thin as a rail, though…the irony of life, boy I tell ya. As a teen I could still pick from the rack, size 12 to 14. Womanhood…uh, yeah, me, Ashley Stewart & Lane Bryant became fast-fiscal-friends.
With all the cute pieces one can find in those stores, still didn’t have the impulse to feel depressed about my weight. “Depression” I wasn’t acutely aware of, anyhow. We ain’t gonna go there with tha subconscious/spiritual, yet. It could be a cultural thing too. In mine (from my experiences), there are so many BiG Mamas, that finding comfort in common there is…well, common. Too commonplace to single-out for contemptuous critique….cause it’s usually a fellow fat-fatty that’s fittin’ to find fault.
Instinctually [if they’re working with a morsel of sound logic] they can’t find it in fat. ‘Cause, they’re “in fat” too. *giggles* [not laughing at obesity, I can’t…stop it!] I was rarely attacked for the fat. Now, there were certain incidents, but so few, that I can recall each one and literally count those incidents on one hand. Most of my attacks came/come post “unique expression” & or “sound reasoning.” Whose?
Certainly not theirs’. Have you ever, no, EVER met a “unique” verbal attacker??? Their numbers are few, if they’re out there. Due to the small space of the ego, it’s impossible for them to be but so unique. The ego is an infant. If you study astrology you already know which sign rules the head, where the ego is housed, ID. And ‘that’ sign is the ‘what’ of the zodiac? And an infant is small in size. Trust, ego-operatents can only pull from a very small reserve. This is why they recruit others to help them hate. An infant NEEDS support, it can’t stand alone, in fact, human infants can’t stand alone at all.
And sound reasoning? Sigh…
They know they can’t win a rational debate why they won’t attempt “sound reasoning.” And RESENT you for logically delivering it! “A rational person could never have a problem with another rational person.” [paraphrased] ~Ayn Rand
Did I digress?
Pardon me, I tend to sail as I type. In short, when you meet one “v.a.” you’ve met them all. They even carry the same gestures,
mannerisms, body language, language, period! They don’t even have to know one another personally to mirror this common insolence…yep, they pull from the same small surly spiritual pool to operate, to wand/wield their toxins. Sigh…
Again, a digital detox from certain viewing/listening is in order!!! Gotta get off the soapbox to get in it, use the soap to clean anew, then get out the box. By all means, GET OUT THE BOX!
Suggestion: Watch the movie “The Box.” A little while ago, I was in angst…just for a little. Well, maybe a little more than a little. I found out, well… “Lupus,” yeah, that. As if all the other ailments weren’t enough? Sigh… Y’all, I can’t just be “fat & fine,” anymore. Well “fat & fine” in the beauty context, fine.
Smiles.. I mean, I just can’t be content in all the calories I consume daily, without concern. It’s been said that “I’m a ‘live & let live’ type of personality.” This observation of theirs I quickly agreed with cause I’m that way with myself. And in some ways, it cost me. Cost me in groceries, pounds, and health. Sigh…
I never used to feel burdened by the l-b-s’s…never! Footloose, fat & fancy-free, yep, that’s me. Well…it was. :-(.
And boy, dance… DID I BOOGIE! Now? ‘Just went to two Xmas parties. Jotted down some song requests, handed it to the DJ. He soon obliged. Danced for only about a song & a half…found my seat again. Pooped!
The DJ somehow found me sitting (recovering) over the sea-of-faces, and gave me a look that read “I’m playing all your sh*t, what’s up? Dance!” I shot him a return-look that read “Did you not just catch me dancing my little two-step to those two grooves? Well, one and half of the second spin…” Hell, I was tired!
Where did all my energy go? EFF you, you Vampires! But I digress.
In my 40s…felt I should just make my peace with old age. Told you, with the “live & let live” persona, you readily just make peace with things. It’s innate for us. ‘Cept the ones that constantly remind “The forties is not old age!” (Abiola’s note: Hell NO it’s not!) When the ones reminding this are older than I, I’m polite, but inwardly, I’m saying “You must feel that way cause…cause, well, you are older.”
It’s when the ones that are younger state the same that I p a u s e…a good p a u s e. Like…How would they know? How could they say that with such certainty? It’s as rare as finding a baby with full-beared facial hair, that Ma G would embrace the say of the youngin’ quicker than the say of an elder. #therealtruthaboutspades
Don’t get me wrong. I love the wisdom that comes with age. And I respect my elders. ..a lost art. #justfortheonesthatassumedIwasattachingshametooldage Stop it! I’m just addressing my aches, pains, ailments and how a hiatus to heal them, is in order…you know, the purpose of this write-up.
Back to the minor angst: I was on the phone not that long ago with a fellow astrologer and they had mentioned that they’d give it to 2015 then stop. I was like “Stop what? You can’t stop astrology, it’s infinite, as is your love for…” They had cut me off to insert [paraphrased] “I know it is. I won’t stop studying, my love for it…but I will stop offering it publicly. I’m tired and…” As they continued, I knew I needed a break too. I love my column, truly I do. And I love all of you that took/take the time to read it. Remember when you could comment below it? We’d wonderfully interact and… Sigh…
Yo, woe to all those icky scammy-spammers that infiltrated that! That’s all they, and those of that ill-ilk, do: intervene, intercept, infiltrate, infect, … I can’t! Pray for ‘em y’all. Sigh…
But I digress.
Figured I’d bring the columns to an end, the end of this year….for now.
Gotta ask Ms. Abrams for a sabbatical from astro-column submissions, to get it together.
Q.I.: Hey, did y’all know “together” = “to get her”? Dope, right. 🙂
Yeah, y’all, I gotta “get her,” get me. Get me? Smiles…
* Back to the me I know.
Reminiscing, I lost a hundred pounds, naturally, during my first Saturn Return. But the reasoning for that daily workout/walkout wasn’t consciously to “lose weight.” I’m hoping to net like re-inspiration, to do it again. Look, I know me to this extent: To move in gratitude LIKE I DID BACK THEN? Again, I have to be inspired. Another kind of inspiration.
You’d think that looking good and feeling good would be enough inspiration to do good, right? I agree…in the intellectual sense, once more, I agree. But the emotional sense? Again, I know me. Fittin’ ta know the HIGHER me too! A’se! Highness to us ALL: High-8-Us <3
So fast-forward to last month. There’s just some things that Mama can’t seem to catch-on with WordPress. And…Sigh… Well, I just gotta figure it out, cause Abiola’s workload is extensive as it is without having to format and post my monthly column too. I totally get this. ..got this! But WordPress? And she done walked me through it via emails, saw tutorials on Youtube and… y’all…
All the more reason for me to finally ask “Can I take some time off?” Ms. Abrams, in all her beauty and graciousness, obliged. Thank you, ma. <3
New Year’s 2014 astro-offerings from me on the way…
Then I’ll be… I’ll be off healing and… and when I decide to do a digital dance or two…I’ll try to figure out WordPress…at least edit my former posts. Oh, that brings me to this: p.a.t. [pardon all typos] Y’all two sets of eyes perusing, even three and STILL, they [typos] slip through the cracks.
With my brand of eclectic/eccentric prose? ‘Writing in the vernacular ‘n all? ‘Makes it even harder to edit a gal’s work. How in tha hell could one discern from “vernacular” and an out-and- out [out and needs to be Out] unconscious error? The fault here is all mine. Lipo/Typo. Fat in/Fat out. #FatFacts #Sh*tHappens/Happensnot/Happenstance
To err is human. To forgive is divine.
*Humbly warmed and appreciative to all of you that still enjoyed Mama’s musings. <3
Thank You’s & Shout-Outs! 🙂
The Creator/Creatrix, The Cosmos, 21 Nations of…, All 29…, Amy, Rapheal, Bifrons, Niatoma, Freya, Mom, Poppa Bear, Uncle Rich, Ridge, Jusmik, KD, Man, Bruce, Zstarman, 7, Ayesha Grice (greatly facilitated reopening the portal, the astro-portal, in this incarnation, again, thank you), Rob, Sam, Aurora (love you!), Rob, All the readers of this column, Trish, Ms. Inez, All sincere astrologers whose main aim is to uplift, Nyanda, Srta, Naima, Shilo, Rich S., Everyone that has ever inspired higher thought, whether you realized you did or not, thank you.
Ms. Abrams… Ms. Abrams… Ms. Abrams… I remember the day as clear as if it were yesterday, when you asked me to write an astro-piece for your site. Two years ago, casually on social media one day, flowing in my usual social butterfly sensations, flying through, sharing my shares & cares–usually in the “astro-share” sense. Forgot what I wrote, but it was pleasing & or purpose-filled enough for Polly to send me a fb- friend request. #honored. ‘Smiled, confirmed, returned to the home page, typed on another’s thread, kept it moving, or…kept it scrolling. Before logging off, I tend to check my inbox-messages. I typically check ‘em when I first log on too. This day I checked and one of the messages was from none other than Abiola asking me to write about astrology for her website. Just “a piece” though.
Silly me, at first, I thought it was a request to write the astrology column. I jumped for joy inside! I thought… “The Secret” stuff must really work. *chuckles* Ay, those were *respectful chuckles.* Ever since reading Ms. Ayesha Grice’s horoscope column in Essence magazine growing up, I secretly wanted to have one of my own one day, one day when I got big. But also secretly felt that that would never happen. Then that Sable Magazine offer years ago, now Ms. Abrams’…
Yeah, that “never” got nixed. ‘Cept, I misconstrued the offer. Well, kinda…
At first, she just wanted a single piece penned about love, relationships, Valentine’s Day was approaching. My tummy sank a bit. ‘Didn’t let it show, though. Still felt honored that she saw me in that light. Getting to know someone initially through their prose versus hearsay is divine to me. ‘Cause you know the attraction isn’t filtered, false, coerce, it’s authentic. They’re telling you ‘I like how/what you wrote on my thread, can you write something else, but just on my site?’
So here I go [paraphrased], “…oh, you have a resident astrologer already?”
a.a. [paraphrased], “…no, but I do now.”
A similar response the publisher of Sable Magazine gave me so many years ago. All I could do then was smile…as I’m doing right now typing this. 🙂 A shout-out to she, as well.
Ms. Abrams I thank you from my heart for all the lovely pictures, I don’t think I could have found ½ of those, much less posted them. I thank you for your patience and understanding. Thank you for…You! <3
Y’all, when you see/read, catch the “Grear Gravy” in prose again on here, probably it’ll be a piece titled “Don’t Call it a Come Back” or some variation like that, just know that Mama is healed or at least 3/4’s of the way there. <3
Also know that Mama done finally fully figured out WordPress. That or the staff increased, a department dedicated to helping out writers that do mostly just that–write; they don’t fool wit’ this cyber-techo-ish too tough. Smiles… Lawd, Abiola, I hope they’re as patient as you were with Mama G. <3
Wholeness, Wellness & Healing Vibrations to All!!!
fn: Astro in Absentia? Never that! The cosmos were here before us & will be here…
To continue gettin’ your monthly astro-fix in (to the one’s that do anyway, skip this footnote; most of us read not only one astro column each month), I recommend Ms. Inez’s Lunations and or Ayesha Grice’s.