Let’s talk about the new “Lovers’ Guide” sensual education series and how to increase intimacy. We’re big fans of hot monogamy here…
Hey Sacred Bombshell,
The mantra of never stop learning should apply to our love lives as well as the rest of our experiences. Many of us have never seen a healthy, loving romantic relationship up close. Add the lack of positive sexual health education and we need help.
Recently, I interviewed Robert Page, the creator and producer of “The Lovers’ Guide.” His films are made available in the US by documentary company True Mind. True Mind’s objective is to educate and inspire. Their other projects include “Amazonia: Healing With Sacred Plants,” “Plan Eat,” “Managing Menopause Naturally,” “Qi Gong: Discover the Ancient Art” and Ellen Page’s “Vanishing of the Bees.”
“The Lovers’ Guide” has been popular in the UK and worldwide for over 20 years. Their first film was a safe sex education film born in the post-AIDS era.
Abiola: Robert, your films have had quite a cultural impact. You fill a necessary gap in adult education. Who do you recommend these DVDs for?
Robert Page: We believe the titles will help anyone over the age of consent who wishes to up their erotic intelligence. These films are “sexy, sensual, moral and responsible” as British newspaper, The Independent, put it. Seventy-five percent of our films are bought by women.
Abiola: That’s great. How do you recommend that people strengthen relationships and increase intimacy?
Robert: There are many elements to relationships and they are as complex and varied as there are human beings. At a practical level, “The Lovers’ Guide” teaches a vast repertoire of techniques and a wide range of positions. All of those skills help, but there is the attempt to strengthen relationships by elevating sex into truly making love. That happens when both parties put the pleasure of the others above simply satisfying their own desires. Deeply intimate physical expression of love together is the glue that can bond a relationship strongly together.
Abiola: What are some interesting things that have happened on your journey?
Robert: All sorts of things happened. We were even contacted by Stanley Kubrick for advice on how to direct a scene for “Eyes Wide Shut.” And then nearly got sued on the wrongful accusation that we had blabbed about this to the press. Just recently “The Lovers’ Guide” was hailed as one of the ten best such titles of all time and was put ahead of the ‘Kama Sutra’.
Abiola: Women I coach often ask how to facilitate “sexy talk” or “dirty talk.” What are your thoughts?
Robert: I prefer to call it “sexy talk” – and feel it is an element of the all-too-important communication needed between lovers. If you are close enough to [be lovers] you should be close enough to be able to talk about it. Survey suggest that fewer than 6 in 10 actually do, which is great shame when people don’t feel that can say what they enjoy and ask for what they’d like.
Women, especially, need to be able to train their men not to rush in but allow proper time for arousal and proper stimulation of that key organ to women’s satisfaction, the clitoris. It’s no surprise, though a sad comment, that over 50% of respondents say that sex doesn’t last long enough and 53% want their intimate lives to be more adventurous.
Abiola: What do you think of the “50 Shades” phenomenon?
Robert: It has certainly done wonders for the shops that have sold out of spanking paddles, riding crops, handcuffs and blindfolds! And a hugely positive effect on Barnes and Noble’s profits. It just shows that women are as interested in sex – and adventurous sex at that – as men. We all wish it were better written, and some of us worry about its stereotyping – the rich, powerful, experienced and predatory male vs the virginal, inexperienced and innocent girl.
Overall, it has to be a good thing in helping tear off blinkers – and is already, apparently resulting in a significant baby boom!
Abiola: Where can people who want to increase intimacy purchase these products?
Robert: “The Lovers’ Guide” titles are now available in the US in two collections of 5 DVDs in each from Amazon.
You can read the rest of my interview with Robert Page on my Examiner relationships column here.