Abiola Abrams

Inner Bully Redux: The Shadow of The Inner Critic (For Mental Health Week)

“Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” That’s a lie — and the most damning words often come from ourselves. We say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t say to our worst enemies. I share tactics and healing techniques on how to make peace with and change the impact of the Inner Critic in the Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love.

Let’s talk about it. The photo is from an upcoming shoot I did for the web series “The Drive.”

InstaDiary Bonus: Please find a video of a great conversation that I had with singer Amel Larrieux on the topic after the jump…

Dear Inner Critic…

My inner critic is a bitch and a raving lunatic but I love her. Even and especially when I hate her. She’s deMy inner critic is a bitch and a raving lunatic but I love her. Even and especially when I hate her. She’s devious, anxious, and paranoid. She chastises me in my fabulosity. She thinks that I am way too much. Except when she thinks that I am not enough.

My inner critic is a bitch who scolds me for not thinking of snappy replies until later. She laughs at my inadequacies and smiles at my missteps. She’s all, “I told you so” when I eff up. She used to prey on my insecurities.

I used to criticize, judge, and humiliate myself to myself like it was my job.  I used to listen to this inner bully like it was my religion. I held myself up to inhuman standards of perfection and Inner Bully still wasn’t satisfied. That’s because no matter how much you feed a beast it will always be hungry. And the Inner Bully is a beast.

There has been a sacred shift over the years, though. From scared and scarred to sacred.

Now I am able to stand beside her as she wonders why my nails are so raggedy today. I am the observer to her taunts, the witness to her dramas, but no longer the victim of that persistent voice that says, you are not enough.

My work-in-progress default is being reset to sacred self-love. It becomes easier to laugh at that voice, to notice her absurdity, and thank her for sharing and caring in her misguided way.

Inadequate? Me?

The devil is a liar and so is your inner critic. Who dare not see the glisten & the shine on the magical creations that are you and I?

My inner critic is a shady, shadowy bitch. But I do embrace her, in all of her misinformed glory. True self love is owning all of the pieces of ourselves. The perceived brokenness, the lovely ugly shadow, the fearlessness, and the fear.

True self-love is looking Ms. Inner Bully in the eye and saying, you must be mistaken thinking such horrible things about someone so outrageously beautiful and perfect in her fab imperfections.

 

Have you seen me? Known me? Spoken to me? Eaten my good cooking?

Just as I thought. Your insults, yes, are misguided. And you, Inner Bully, like all bullies, are sorely mistaken. Begone.

#sacredandthecity


 

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Unlock Your Inner Greatness!