Are Siblings Born Adversaries? Chef Roble & His Sister

Spiritual Life Lessons from TV’s Chef Roble’s Fights with His Sister…

This year for the first time ever I watched Bravo’s “Chef Roble & Co.” The show follows a superstar chef and caterer Roble Ali as he makes the rounds cooking and throwing events for the best and brightest on the social scene. I was pulled in after I put myself on house arrest to complete a writing project — and I’m hooked!

The episode with celebrity blogger Love B. Scott was full and delicious. I am sure that Bravo’s very smart Executive Producer Andy Cohen has something in the pipelines for him! Our Astro-Genius and cultural commentator Grear “Yaddie” Turnbull has much to say on the show, Roble and his relationship with his much put-upon sister, Jasmine Ali. Roble and Jasmine are both gorgeous, smart, talented and passionate – great family TV ahead, folks! If you’ve never seen the show, you can catch up on episodes here.

Note: Don’t read this missive like a blog post. Settle in for a sweet summer read to indulge in Grear’s yummy metaphysically-inspired life lessons in empowerment post. Gorgeous Grear’s magnificent views are solely her own, and as per usual, we left in her unique grammatical stylings and Grear-isms. Her insight is always special as are her expert horoscopes. You can also find more of our Love University spirituality posts here.

In case you missed them, catch Grear’s posts on TV show “Married to Medicine,” beauty queen Kenya MooreBeyonce‘s ‘Life is But a Dream’ and rapper DMX‘s Iyanla Vanzant intervention. Most recently, Grear enlightened us with “Life Lessons from Lauryn Hill.” Take it away, Yaddie… And thank you for mentioning my sister and me in this wonderful analysis. She’s my heart! -aa

Siblings Are Born Adversaries: A Roble Analysis

by Grear Yaddie Turnbull

We couldn’t believe our eyes. We couldn’t believe them! We were already switching back and forth between shows—didn’t wanna miss R & B Divas ATL, so we clicked back and forth between their show and Chef Roble`& Co. By the way, the way Bravo also (& before so) has it titled is ‘the way Jasmine worded it’.

And boy o boy how we wished we were at the other network when we caught the scene where Roble` was cursing at his sister Jasmine. [Watch here.]

Wait, before I delve right on in wit’ that. I have to say this—as I’ve said before—when you present yourself publicly, public feedback is inevitable. To some this is common sense, to some others, specifically some egos, it may not be. Therefore, the repetitive mention of [the why] for viewer-feedback is deemed necessary.

Are Siblings Born Adversaries? Life Empowerment Lessons from ‘Chef Roble & Co’

OK, back to our stunned viewing…appalled!

Per what’s aired on national TV, Jasmine doesn’t even strike us as the hardened personality type that one would feel prompt to GET AT like that! She just doesn’t inspire such venom.

Prior to viewing that scene, Roble` didn’t strike us as a personality that could make it POP like that—especially towards a female. And not just “any” female, his sister. Like, dude…was that to showcase “how many shorts you don’t take?” If so, who’s believing that? No street-cred earn there, homie. None!

I’m in my 40s and I’m from Harlem. Coming of age years: the 80s. When Harlem was “REAL HARLEM!” Nothing like the gentrified scene it is today. There was nothing “real” in that. Nada! You know how we know? Jasmine kept repeating, paraphrasing “…he’s never done that. He’s never cursed me.”

So that leads a legal mind like ours’ to thinking “…well, was it for the cameras? To implement a desired perception? The ‘I don’t take no shorts perception’?”  Then come to think about it, with the delicacy of the ego, it would have one erroneously believing it is ‘disrespect’ alone “just to have an opinion”—one that’s undesired, of course. And don’t let it be a logical one, a more logical one—ooh boy, would you have beef on your hands. The ego is wily this way—how bullies are born.

Chef Roble Ali

I digress. Well…kinda.

So we’re watching… And still…we’re appalled! ‘Couldn’t quite shake the shock just yet. 

Back ‘n tha day, you got on the phone after a crazy TV moment to vent wit’ your girl: “Do you see this?!” And that was the extent of it. Today, the blogasphere done took hold. So you can still have that convo wit’ your homie-owl plus type out more expression of just how appalling such  TV scene[s] is/was/are/were.

Roble`, ever heard of the old school TV sitcom “The Odd Couple?” Felix would state to his roommate Oscar, “Oscar. Oscar. Oscar.” And the disappointing intones that came with.

Yes?

  • OK, here we go: “Roble`. Roble`. Roble`.”

How? Huh? Why?

Yes, it (y’all episode) ended on a good note. But, still… What in your ego prompted such a cursing…and at a lady, at that? Again, not any ole lady, but your sister. Her son has that video file to look at for like…forever. It’s documented visual disrespect. My tummy sinks. Hurtful.

Surely, I’m certain he’d elect not to, but, still…it’s there. Again, hurtful.

Dr. Maya Angelou has a quote regarding this… This is not the one I had in mind but it is still salient:

 Maya Angelou quotes 

 

Then there is a bible verse my friend Ridge would repeat back ‘n tha day while he overheard me and my sister or one of my brothers GO AT IT.

Matthew 10:36. A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household. 

Add the verse that “a house divided can’t stand.” YES, all of these came to mind while watching that shocking sibling cussin’ scene.

Chef-Roble-and-Co

Jasmine, ma, I know how you feel.

That scene was one of such a personal note…I can’t even say it. …Alright I will! There’s five siblings  in my family, all average seven years apart. So the youngest brother, one that was even younger than yours when such DISRESPECT was exhibited. Yes, I know the teen years are trying for most teens [not to mention the adults that gotta deal with them], but…

Okay, here’s the story—as much as I’m willing to divulge in a blog:

Mommy had been having problems with him, school, etcetera. She asked me to talk to him on this particular day about how “he leaves the house.” Truth of the matter, I had forgot all about her request by the time I got in from chillin’ wit’ a long-time gal pal. But when I walked in and saw his half-eaten sloppy joe sandwich [albeit on a paper-plate] sitting on the couch—like it paid rent to sit there. Hell, it didn’t and nor did he! Inflamed! Mommy’s request to “talk to him” came-a calling back in more syllables than one. He was down in the basement on the computer [he couldn’t carry his sloppy joe down there wit’ his sloppy ass?…No, not still mad…that was the then-sentiment], chillin’. I called down to him about the ‘sloppy joe’ matter. Why not throw it out? Or take it wit’ you? Etc. Told him how much of a disappointment his behavior would be to his dad (deceased), and how he treated his wife, our mom, etc. Truthfully, I was civil at first, not exactly nice, but civil.

Going through that machismo phase (but wasn’t that way in da streets, tho), he gonna COME OUT HIS FACE wit’ “what he was gonna do to me” for mentioning his dad’s name. Till that moment, he had never spoken to me like that!

Jasmine, ma, I grabbed a KITCHEN UTENLCIL and SHOT DOWN THE STAIRS! With the speed of Flo Jo (someone told me…they heard me yell something along the lines of “DO IT! BEDFORD HILLS HERE I COME!”).

When I tell you I’m as bouncy and bubbly as they come and that it’s VERY DIFFICULT for me to see “RED”…saw it then!

siblingsHe flew outta there! There’s an exit in the basement. I couldn’t outrun no teen, even if they are/were as chubby as I.

I was fuming.

Called my mom and told her how I was about to gut her last born!

She came home and we three discussed it…and it wasn’t the soothing sane discussion that you two had with Artie at the end of said episode, either.

Mommy kinda took sides… Look, I’ll stop here. This blog don’t need to mirror the entire passage from my memoir. Sigh…

 

In short, yes, that scene hit home! Deeply personal.

sibling fightsSaid baby brother is no longer a baby today, he is of adult age and we’re still not the same. I used to really love that little plump cute butter ball. No more. Well, I love him in the humane sense like I’d never wishing him any ill will. But in any other light? Nope. And no, I’m not holding a grudge, just not holding on to him. I d e t a c h VERY WELL.

We’re civil but we’re not in love—nor will we ever be. For some, on the path we all walk called life when wretched “disrespect” occurs the corner turns, to never re-turn again. Apostraphia.

Our other brother reminds me “But, that’s STILL your brother.” Hell, the chubby brother has reminded me of the same, “I’m still your brother.”

And to them both I remind “That’s not my fault. I ain’t have no say in that bedroom the night you were conceived.”

(No one likes their emotions to be dictated and directed, not even in the name of kinship.)

 

How do they respond to that? They don’t. They can’t. But if they were in to the metaphysics they sure could.

Tchet.

kymatica film by ben stewartOkay, how can I word this for non-Met Heads? I’ll try my best. Try my best to exercise brevity where speaking in the metaphysical tongue concerned Think back…recall that Chris Rock stand up where he speaks to the foolishness of hating folks cause they end up in your family? Well, yes. They do. Thoughts are POWERFUL and truly are THINGS.

“Hate” is a spiritual adhesion of surly sorts. That energy magnetizes you to the very thing you fear, well, hate. If you watched the film “KYMATICA” you’d know that “fear” & “hate” are the same. Hate derives out of fear. No, not the kind of ‘fear’ that connotes one is afraid to fight—no, not that. Well…maybe sort of. Look, gotta see the film. It cites that there are only two emotions: Love & Fear, and that all corresponding emotions sprang, evolve or devolve from either of the two.

Allow me to expound on the title of this blog: “Siblings are Born Adversaries.”

First off, I am an astrologer. It’s my language—my point-of-reference. If this (astro-lingo) irritates you don’t read my work. Where there’s “a choice” why choose irritation? Choose enlightening introspection, not irritation. Not just here, but anywhere.

I digress.

OK, back in ’98 on my walk to work, I took a sudden detour cause I wanted to avoid walking pass a Baskin & Robbins shop.   In stride, music playing in my ears, in a zone, I still managed to spot a flier in the window of The African Poetry Theater. The flier announced an astrology workshop, one being held that day that moment hosted by a noted astro-columnist I respected. Long story short, I entered, paid and stayed.

What was said therein TRANSFORMED me. My astro-thinking. My thinking!

  • What Mama Eye (what I affectionately called my former teacher) shared with the class was the same as what Chris Rock put in a laughing pill, ‘Cept she really broke-it-down, and of course, far more seriously than he [his name wasn’t mentioned in the class—my mind reflected on him for this topic], who you hate will wind up as who you are related to.

Mama Eye spoke to the third house, and all that that entails. Then she went on with, paraphrasing “Who you don’t like, a firm dislike, will show up as a sibling in the next life. If you REALLY dislike them, then twins. If you loathe them, Siamese twins.”

I sat stunned. In this context, a good stunned.

An astro-Ah-Ha moment like none other!  

Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol K. TrumanI won’t delve too deep here cause you really gotta understand that third house and it being ruled by Gemini (Twins) for you to net the kind of “Ah-Ha” moment I did. OK, let me put it another way, minus the astro-feed. Recall the near ending scene in the movie “Ghost” where the character Sam tells Molly, his girlfriend, how the love you have you get to take with you? Yes, that.

In the book “Feelings Buried Alive Never Die” by Karol K. Truman, she breaks down this theory to a T. This is a worthy read. And no, she doesn’t mention astrology. 

With all the Libra in me, I sat there watching in love and wonder, then…dread. Yes, dread washed over me as well while watching such a loving scene. Libra balances both sides, weighs either probability. I thought…”Oh my, if we get to take the love, oh lordy, do that mean we get to take all the OTHER emotions too? Yikes!” Come to find out, you do. We do.

“Experiences change your DNA.” ~Sevan

jasmine & roble aliSomeone (a Libra) sent me the “Spirit Science #12” vid, in it the narrator speaks to how you’re not allowed to graduate/ascend if you haven’t completed your Earth run. Felt instantly bummed! Well, no, before that saddened feeling, I first heard Kirby’s voice (from the movie “Dead Presidents”), don’t ask me why, I just did. Yes, his strong masculine voice yelling at Terrence Howard’s character, stating something like “And don’t come back till you come correct!” totally came to focus.

I won’t go any further cause then it’ll have to turn into an all-out metaphysical missive.

Just know, if you hate cause you can’t relate, you’ll wind up, what? RELATED! This is of course, if the “hate” is mutual. Sameness is a cosmic marriage of sorts. Yet, opposites attract (electricity teaches us this…it takes only opposites to get the juice, life, flowing) and electrically, likes repel. This reminds me of Syleena Johnson and Nicci Gilbert, who are both “9 of Diamonds.” Heavens to Betsy! Save it for another blog.

Now, the science of “What if they hate me but I don’t hate them?”

Another metaphysical theory applies there—one I’ll save for another write-up.

No, Jasmine, we know you two don’t hate each other. I spoke/wrote to how we become siblings to begin with—hostile energy. ..it has to go somewhere, and “UP” ain’t it. Gotta be light in your auric energy field to ascend. Erykah Badu singing in her song “Bag Lady” …pack light…” just came to mind.

erica goode siblings quote

Jasmine, if your sun sign is one of the three that precedes Libra (or even Aquarius), I can totally understand how you unconsciously neglected to remind him immediately that Bravo labels him/his show the very exact title you did. I’m sure he doesn’t cuss the heads out over there for doing so. And they do so IN WRITING. When you said so it was in the vein of “being and breathing” you know, without malice. And he scorned you as such, for such?

And here’s the rub [no pun], to quote Roble`, in the second leg of the beefin’ scene between you two, he even addresses himself as ‘chef’: “I’ma chef, I’m suppose to curse!” Huh? The ego debilitates logic. It does. It really does.

  • The crime didn’t fit the punishment.  #justouropinion

Does Roble cuss the guys OUT like that?

Probably not. ‘Cause with that male ego? ChileEase, it’ll be “Situation BrawlNation”!

“A Nation can only Rise as High as its Women” ~Moorish Brooklyn, ‘Science of a Woman‘ videos.

Roble, if you see your “Co.” as your nation, your empire, it’ll behoove you to treat the women in it with HIGH regard.

Oh, one more thing that tugged at my heartstrings, Jasmine: Your mom, her name alone, then you shared that she never cursed in front of y’all, etc. Our mom, either. My mom never cursed in front of us, at us, or at all! For her five to hold the some time, oft times, potty mouths we do—gotta know that SOCIETY definitely had/has its influences. We’re getting better, tho. <3

When you notice siblings getting along, sincerely getting along, it inspires. Why? Instinctively, we know that’s a rare sight. Especially if they’re not frontin’ cause folks are watching, their solidarity is genuine. The present life affable bond is rare cause of what they put the other through in prior lives. The age differences, there’s a cosmic science there too. Mathematics is real! Won’t delve there right now, but know it is.

So know if they honor, love & like the other, a major healing occurred whether they realize it or not. Hence the AWE when witnessed.

Oh, why the title for this piece?

Years ago, one of my then-friends, I’ll call” Bernie. B” called to tell me all about the Bible study she just left and how “Siblings are Born Adversaries.” The term took me aback, in an enormous way, for some reason—not just all that Mama Eye shared with us in those classes; but at the time the phone rang I was just watching an episode of the TV sitcom “The Golden Girls” where  Blanche said something along the lines of sisters having a natural adversarial rapport. Then for Bernie called with that? At that very moment? Floored!

She went on to share how in said study it was said that if you need something ask a neighbor before you ask your brother.

You don’t have to agree, these were her finding per that study. Me? Though I was intrigued by all she shared in that phone-moment…I’d still have trepidation asking either brother or neighbor!

We talked for hours that day, as we did most days back then—but just needed to give you the general gist of the sib topic—how it derived in school-of-thought; no need to share ALL that she shared on this topic that day.

Love your brothers and your sisters. If you can’t do it close do it from afar, sever-in-love. But, please, Just do it! LOVE!

Or…yep, you’ll have to do another sib-adhesion contract next lifetime. If that’s what you really want? Did Maxwell not sing about “working it all out this lifetime?” Did Teena Marie not sing about this in her masterpiece “Deja Vu (I’ve Been Here Before).”

Moi? I’ve had my full.

With Love,

Sayonara

P.S. Jasmine…

There’s something to consider with Jasmine Essential Oil. Every time I meet a “Jasmine” if the vibe is right, I gift her this recipe. Email Abiola, I’ll give it to her to give to you. <3

Dedicated to siblings I observed interacting in awe. Just knew that they not only love each other but also like each other—a rare combo to witness: Jonece & Kareem , Eric & Derek, Nyanda Rudi Yekwai & her Sister, Abiola & Damali, Linda & Tynika, thank you for loving example.

P.S. II  B. Scott! Yes, I’m a “Love Muffin.”

Became one by accident. It was something you said to Kim in that old Kim Z. interview—I was awestruck. You know how it’s said that people long to hear by ear what they know to be true by heart. Well you fulfilled one little nugget for me there—said it…did that! One of those things WE ALL know, but few rarely voice. Thanks.

Was sooo psyched to see you on the show—I nearly forgot to study the vittles…however, once I did, it did look tasty! My life-long card-carrying member of the chubby girl club would have totally forgotten all about the no air conditioning and GOT MY GRUB ON! Please tell me they packed you a little baggie to take home? You may not be a foodie though. Smiles…

What you are is…so pretty. Face, beat, yes! But there’s a natural beauty there. And possess personality to-boot! Was mildly taken aback to discover you’re an Aries, but a March one. Is there water on your ASC? We should have an astro-swarray. We’ll talk later. 😉

Shawn & Artie… Y’all the show! It’s safe to say me and owls love y’all. Y’all go missing from the episodes, we’re likely to stop watching.

And that quiet cast member…the one with the braids. Yo, know that we’re way too old for you; and we’re not in the market of preying for boy-toys. No, no cougars here. But baby, silence is golden and it’s sexy azalloutdoors! Your seemingly disinterest in camera time, scene-stealing, like…you almost wanna go unnoticed, makes you (to the wise old souls/skool types, especially) highly noticeable. In the most appealing way. Do you meditate? You must.

Suggestions:

  • Read “Makes Me Wanna Holler” by Nathan McCall, especially the Jim chapter;
  • Harlem Godfather: The Rap on my Husband, Ellsworth “Bumpy” Johnson” by Mayme Johnson, zone in on the ‘Nat’ character;
  • Listen to “Whatta Man” by Salt ‘n Pepa feat. EnVogue…where Spin spit in her verse “…that’s not it.”
  • Baby, while Icarus energy is super sexy, but it has its place… riding a motorcycle is Icarus energy, among other items. Calm, composed, centered…the epitome of maturity. Divine. What I’d give to see your natal chart. Whoever gets you, or have you, one lucky lady.
  • After you read the tomes, listen to the groove, it’ll hit you. If not, email Abiola, she’ll contact me then I’ll expound via e-kite.

Roble`, tip: you picked a strong team. Helm with care and respect.

Post Script:

The aired episode after the episode that inspired this blog… Roble, I’m not sure of the time lapse between tapings, but, um, how can you tell Dan not to be so sensitive for her reacting much milder than you did to your sister for you doing the very SAME THING that you got so vexed at Jasmine for doing–calling you out of your preferred name.

Happy you two reconciled, however…

#justanobservation , one I would have been remiss not to mention.

Life: One Big Ball of Irony.

All photos Bravo publicity.

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