Is It a Contradiction for Those Who Profess Self-Love to Wear Makeup, a Hair Weave, Push Up Bra, or Stilettos?

“The Sacred Feminine Law of Nizhoni, Beauty as a Spiritual Practice:

The Sacred Bombshell embraces beauty as a spiritual practice. She knows that at any moment she can make the decision to be beautiful or to enjoy beauty. This is sacred Nizhoni.

The bombshell need only rise to her true magnificence and step into her greatness. All beautifulness or ugliness she sees in her world shines forth from her. The beauty she admires in others is her own divine light being reflected.” –Excerpted from The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love

Greetings Gorgeous,

Look of the day- it’s un-beweavable!

(laughing out loud)

I stopped wearing weaves in real life a few years ago then I missed the versatility too much. WEAVES, WIGS and CLIP- ROCK!! I love a good weave.

Why should I rob myself of the fun of variety?

Today I just didn’t want to untwist my twist out in the rain/humidity & ruin my twisting handiwork so soon. (My fellow naturalistas know what I’m talking about.) You can see that my hair is about a color #1b/2 and the faux hair pinned in back is about a color #4. (My weavenista sisters know what I’m talking about!)

It pretty much looks like my hair and is a similar texture. HOWEVER my hair has different volume and this hair has a slightly different curl pattern (more defined curls), and is longer in the back than mine. (The good folks at Carol’s Daughter salon have a knack for defining my curl pattern this way. Alas, I do not.) I’m enjoying how “she” looks for the day.

This brings to mind an ethical question. If it looks very similar to my hair, why am I telling you that I’m wearing an add-on? Because I am a self-love interventionist who preaches unconditional self-acceptance.

So is it ethical for a self-love coach to wear a weave?

I tackle a similar question with Reverend Kia Granberry in our dialogue in “The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love.” Should preachers and teachers of loving yourself as you are don makeup, weaves, stilettos, have plastic surgery, colored contacts, want a “beach body,” use lip plumpers, Spanx, push up bras etc?

Great question.

My answer is that a mentally healthy woman has the right to choose whatever she bloody well wants to do with her own body– in any way, shape or form.

Some of my choices may not be your choices and vice versa. That’s the beauty of choice.

As a coach I only deem there’s a self-esteem issue when people are dependent upon these “costume” items; when they don’t feel comfortable in their own skin without them, when their feelings of worthiness are built on these external things. Chile– I have been there, too!

Always ask yourself, why am I making these choices? Whose beauty ideal am I confirming to? Is this part of a larger narrative of you being inadequate in your life?

So, how does it feel wearing a weave after so long?

First it was weird but now my head feels warm in this cold! The truth is that it does feel like I’m wearing a costume – a fun, fab costume, but still a costume. As RuPaul says, we are born naked and the rest is drag, dahling. It also took about 15 easy minutes to do my hair vs a minimum of 2 or 3 times that.

Although I’ll be removing this hair tonight, I’m thinking that since I can get such a close match-up to my natural hair I may use hair extensions as a method to experiment with color (I’ve been yearning for color but natural hair for me means chemical and heat free) or just braid my hair up under faux hair to hibernate it in the winter time. Or I may never wear weave again. Who knows?

I do know that I LOVE wearing my BEAUTIFUL natural hair, pain in my royal butt that it sometimes is. I feel SO VERY PRETTY in my version of an Afro. And to quote Viola Davis from our dialogue in my book, when I wear my hair I feel JUST LIKE ME! (But I have a lot of “me-s” so stay tuned!)

I also feel that I have a duty because I am in the media to represent an under-represented kind of beauty.

Natural beauty in all forms is powerful.

Small drops yield a mighty ocean. That’s why I created my African Goddess Affirmation Cards with beautiful natural hair goddesses of every shade from throughout the diaspora.

Meanwhile, let’s stop judging each other based on our hair. Please!

#sacredandthecity #ootd #afro #wig #weave #extensions

Abiola Abrams

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