Dear Brides: Get Over The Myth of the Perfect Wedding! How to Stop Stressing
Hello blushing and not-so-blushing beautiful brides-to-be. This advice post is just for you, goddess. Please take a deep breath and then, well just keep breathing… Thanks to Video Jug for the “How to Handle Wedding Stress” video below. Remember, don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small stuff. All that matters is that you are marrying your BFF.
Just like a creamy, addictive tub of ice cream or a sexy but uncomfortable pair of stilettos, many brides-to-be come to have a love-hate relationship with her own wedding. When the date is set and the venue booked, it is something that we eagerly anticipate and, in the meantime, is something that can also stressfully drive us the brink of insanity as the pressure builds. Fortunately, such anxieties are easy to diminish with the right attitude and a few simple decisions.
1. Don’t sweat all of the details.
Many brides try to have full, domineering control of every single aspect of the wedding, which is often unnecessary. While you might want to personally handle the major decisions like the venue and design of your dress, consider accepting help and suggestions from the people who love you in your life; if your friend with similar taste says she knows a great DJ and your father volunteers to coordinate the traveling arrangements for out-of-town guests, why not take them up on their offers?
Furthermore, by giving the professionals you are working with the freedom to do what they do best, you might be blown away by the results.
For instance, instead of nitpicking the details of the various floral pieces, perhaps give your florist your budget and selected color scheme and ask if he or she has any creative ideas; the florist will probably be able to exceed your expectations and save you money.
2. Make a timeline and budget.
For many couples about to start the planning process, the first question that comes to mind is “where do we begin?” Instead of getting overwhelmed or procrastinating until the last minute, create a detailed, scheduled checklist (I love the one created by Real Simple) as this will make the preparation infinitely easier down the line. Additionally, before you start spending left and right, it is advisable that you and your fiancé sit down together and discuss a budget that you two can both agree upon.
Following this, research approximate costs so you don’t later have the rug pulled from underneath you when you are midway through the planning process.
Additionally, make sure that the two of you are on the same page about the parts of the wedding should be splurged on and which elements you two are willing to pinch pennies on; don’t make the mistake of thinking that you can’t have a beautiful affair and keep an eye out for sales (companies like American Bridal and Light In The Box have frequent opportunities to save). By preventing yourself from overspending, you are averting the stresses and tension that stem from financial insecurity.
3. Set boundaries when necessary.
When people think they know what is best for your wedding, they often want to tell you. While this is done out of love, it can create added stress. By trying to appease everyone, you may feel yourself being pulled in multiple directions and making compromises you don’t feel comfortable with. To prevent resentments or escalated fights, you can calmly explain to your loved ones that you appreciate your input but that you have some ideas that you would like to implement instead.
Boundaries might also need to be made for yourself – wedding planning should not consume your every waking thought. If you find yourself unnecessarily obsessing, take a brief hiatus to do something that enriches your soul like jogging, listening to music or sharing a good laugh with friends at the movies.
4. Remember what is truly important.
Yes, receptions feature decadent desserts, white dresses and tossing the bouquet. But let’s not forget that weddings are ultimately about friends and family rejoicing that two people coming together to declare their eternal love and join as one. So, when you catch yourself getting swept up in the drama of the printed napkins featuring the wrong font or your one bridesmaid catching Strep throat and being unable to attend, try to take a deep breath and remember that these facets are not about to ruin the love you and your fiancé share, and are certainly not going to cause the entire wedding to come crashing down around you.
It doesn’t matter how much sleep you lose and hours you pour into the planning, there will always be things that you cannot anticipate, whether it is bad weather or the best man having had too much to drink before delivering his toast. No matter the scenario, never lose sight of the positive and your gratitude. After all, your wedding should be the happiest day of your life instead of the most nerve-racking one.
Mazel Tov, babydoll!